Christina

Photo by: Peter Borowski

TW: Gun violence

My near-death experience (NDE) has been my most impactful moment to date: I survived a drive-by shooting. If so many different things had happened, like we were running late to the restaurant or if we sat outside, the outcome may have been different. I knew in my gut that something wasn't right once we arrived and thankfully, I listened to my gut and suggested we eat upstairs and move out of the doorway. That exact doorway was where multiple gunshots were shot into 5 minutes later.

I just remember thinking, how am I going to tell my loved ones what happened? Am I going to be able to tell them at all or are they going to find out through the news? As I sat there on the ground waiting, I felt as if I was seperating from the world...and that I didn't have any control over my outcome and life whatsoever. I thought of how much I was proud of what I've done with my life, but that I wasn't done yet. There was still so much more to experience, more love to give and more adventures to be had. The moment I was about to get up and take my life into my own hands, help was on the way.

That moment was the beginning of a lot of realizations for me and many of which I learned during EMDR trauma therapy. I realized that every moment matters: The people you are with, how you spend your life, all of it. I also realized that my intuition is stronger than I had ever noticed before and that I should trust it. And most importantly, I realized that no matter what happens to me in this life, I am strong enough and have the motivation to fight for it. You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.

My "response" after was seeking help and being vulnerable and open with others to destigmatize mental health issues, looking inward and turning this negative situation into a powerful learning experience, providing myself grace on days that I get triggered (which still happens) and continuing to go after my big dreams. I even decided to start a podcast and blog, a dream of mine for years, inspired by listening to your intuition to help creatives. I don't think I would've ever had the guts to do it if I didn't realize how short life really is.

Whoever is reading this: Trust your gut, ask for help when you need it, and never, ever think that you aren't strong enough or capable enough to live the life you want to live. Life is too precious, take the risk.

-Christina