My biggest fear is failure. I’m sure it’s a pretty big fear of yours as well.
It consumes me.
It makes me overthink everything.
It causes hesitation.
And most of all, it makes me doubt myself.
I hate that.
I think a lot about what I want my life to mean and what determines my success in this lifetime. Some days I feel like I have all the answers. Other days I’m not so sure.
Something that bothers me is when peers bring up my success with my blog. Why? Because success is relative and open for interpretation.
There’s so much more to it than meets the eye. Blogging isn’t everything to me. It’s an escape – a place to share my thoughts and feelings. It’s a place to be utterly and completely raw. I love that.
I never intended to do it full-time. I still don’t intend to do it full-time. It started as a hobby and a passion and continues to be a hobby and a passion.
I actually took up photography as collateral from blogging. It’s allowed me to tap back into my creative side that I neglected for a few years. I grow more passionate each day with the thought that something I can create could potentially change someone’s perspective on the world. It frightens me. But it also drives me.
I want my art to mean something. I want the words I write to mean something. There’s content overload online these days and it can get pretty overwhelming. I find that there seems to be a lack of substance. I have to really sit down and sift through filler content to actually find the hidden gems that actually mean something to me and make me think. I want my scope to broaden. I want to view this world each day with a new perspective, even if it’s just slightly different. Different is different, no matter how small of a margin it may be.
I get so confused being online all the time. I’ve been constantly racking my brain lately trying to figure out how to define success. To some, it’s how many followers you have, how many likes you get, and how many Facebook friends you have. To others, it’s how big your house is, how nice of a car you have and how beautiful you are on the outside.
This may sound kind of odd, but I’ve imagined my funeral. Will people be there? What will they say? What do I want them to say? What do I want to be known for?
Four very tough questions…but I’ve found the answers to these four questions to be essential in discovering how I personally define success.
1. I sure hope people will be there. If loved ones are there, I’d be happy…plain and simple. I’d much rather die early in good company, than live a long life and pass alone.
Success to me: Growing and maintaining happy and healthy relationships with passionate people.
2. I hope they say positive things about me. I want to live a life that means something. I want to make the world a better place for others to live in and I hope that I have a decent enough personality that people will someday speak kind words about me in my passing.
Success to me: Being kind to others. Making the world a better place to live for everyone.
3. I want people to talk about my heart. I hope it’s big enough to be remembered.
Success to me: Putting others first. Be grateful. Lead a life full of kindness and integrity. Never hesitate to lend a helping hand.
4. I want to be known for being a positive person. Would I love to impact the world? Of course. The truth of the matter is that the world is a massive place and it can often times leave us feeling to small to make a difference. We all impact each other, and in turn, impact the world. Why? Because we make up the world.
Success to me: Impact others in a positive way. Show up for others. Support each other, instead of trying to compete. And love one another the way were intended to do when we were created.
To me, success is more about how it’s interpreted. You can interpret your own success how you want. But this is how I define my own.
Ahhhh! It’s finally fall guys! Fall is actually my favorite season, because to me it means a fresh start and sweather weather. This week I decided to shift into some more fall friendly outfits.
The first outfit is a more business casual look featuring a comfy black and white dress from Mad Style, a leather wrap belt from Ada Collection, black boots from Target, and a tote also from Mad Style!
I do love the bags from Mad Style, although I would recommend keeping it pretty light. The build of the bags aren’t really intended for heavy books and other heavy items, so I tend to pack light with these totes and bags.
The next look features a reversible vest from Mad Style, fringe jeans from Francesca’s, a long black top from Soft Surroundings, and nude heels from Target. I love how loose and flowy this outfit is overall, and it would be something I would wear to run some quick errands (swap out the heels for something a little more practical like booties) or meet up for a lunch date with friends.
This final look just features a comfy mint hoodie from Mad Style and some black ripped jeans from Express. A simple outfit for chilling at a coffee shop to get some work done or lounging around the house.
Good news! You can update your fall wardrobe with Mad Style and cop these looks with 20% off your order using my promo code: MATTEALINAE at checkout so we can twin!
Special thank you to Nicole Stapelbroek for snapping these rad pics! Check her out on Insta HERE.
Happy fall loves.
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